The Unholy Alliance or How Lancelot Link Chumpified the Republican Party

Dear Readers,

Little did you know that Austin Powers was originally inspired by a bunch of chimpanzees with Mr. Ed's peanut butter jammed in their mouth -- Liotta-Style! The show I'm referring to is a simian garage rock classic, which made it an instant R-Lo "super good" thumbs up special. It is Lancelot Link Secret Chimp. I'm not exactly sure who watched this in the late 60's, but it eventually invaded Nickelodeon in the late 80's by bumping My Three Sons and Car 54 reruns later into the evening. Oddly enough, The Monkees seemed to hang onto their time slot --fucking Micky Dolenz!

OK, so I've included a horrible clip of Lancelot Link below, but I want to note that this band is called The Evolution Revolution making these musical mammals smarter than your average evangelical voter as the apes have clearly sided with Darwin on this one. Whereas the Iowa Republicans just backed a bass playing, lieutenant Data look-alike, evangelical minister for President. The scary part is that Huckabee might have been the best candidate. I shit you not.




As I see it, the Republican unholy alliance of the religious and the rich was meant to split at some point damning both extremes to political isolation. It should be noted that neither of these groups really had anything in common to begin with, but both were willing to overlook the ideological goals of the other to get someone into office. So, it didn't matter if you were pro-war, anti-abortion, pro-death penalty, and against gun control because there was a white guy you could elect who bought into your hypocrisy to increase their personal power. Don't believe me, check out Mitt Romney's change of mind when it comes to abortion and the national election-- the same goes for Giuliani too. Does anyone even know what Fred Thompson thinks? The religious wing of the Republicans have a right to be angry with the candidates they have elected, as they have done the least amount of their bidding while in office. Just think about it. Over the course of six years, what legislation did the Republicans pass for them with control over the house, senate, supreme court, and the Presidency? The answer is virtually nothing. So, while self proclaimed fiscal conservatives look for a candidate to support, the religious right is going with who they perceive their "guy" is. The other man from Hope, Arkansas. The one who doesn't believe in evolution.

-TRM