Paul David Hewson. Dave Matthews. Gordon Sumner. Is it any wonder that the youth of today are subjected to such bland music when even the musicians themselves have such vanilla names? Not convinced yet, elitist fraternity scumbag I-Pod shuffler? Well, how about these handles from the days when the music mattered?
#10) Jane Drano (pre-mersh Go-Gos)
#9) Richard Hell (Voidoids)
#8) Sue Catwoman (fan)
#7) John Doe (X)
#6) Hellin Killer (fan)
#5) Tomata du Plenty (Screamers)
#4) Poly Styrene (X-Ray Spex)
#3) Kid Congo Powers (Cramps, Gun Club)
#2) Lorna Doom (Germs)
#1) Glen Matlock (pre-Sid Vicious Sex Pistols)
Sorry, but D.J. Bonebrake (X) and Feargal Sharkey (Undertones) had to be left off the list for legal reasons (i.e. those are real names).
Showing posts with label Bartender Another Round of Cervenkas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bartender Another Round of Cervenkas. Show all posts
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Three Blues and an Explosion
by R-Lo
Over drinks one night, this otherwise-sensible Buffalonian I know once tried to explain away an embarrassing case of Clapton-worship by suggesting that the only reason I didn’t like the guy was because “you only like traditional blues, R-Lo.” Although that prevent defense of a comment was as easy to score on as playing a game of doubles handball off Vince Vaughn’s enormodome of a forehead, I hereby submit three additional pieces of evidence to prove that Buffalo wings-breath was wrong. Take it away, Maestro!
* T-Model Ford, “Chicken Head Man” (She Ain’t None of Your’n CD, 2000)
T-Model was certainly old, black and from Mississippi when he recorded this paragon of praise to the lowly chicken McNugget, but other than those three stereotypes not even an overly-reverential NPR dj could ever point to anything here that could even faintly be regarded as “traditional.” I actually have absolutely no idea what the guy’s singing about at any point in time on this, but hearing T-Model and his drummer beat this one-chord riff into the ground crackhead-style is way more mesmerizing than mere words can do justice to. Note to racial profilers: makes Eric Clapton sound like a bearded white guy!
* The Gun Club, “Preaching the Blues” (Fire of Love LP, 1981)
The White Stripes used to cover another Gun Club tune off this very same album, but don’t let those overrated Zeppelin-lovers’ one moment of accidental good taste get in the way of your enjoyment of this. A high-octane rewrite of the Robert Johnson song of the same name, this way non-trad slice of slide guitar mayhem pretty much feels up the blues in the same way the Cramps used to fuck up rockabilly. “Fun with trivia” department: Band reportedly once set their monitors on fire at a show through deliberate use of excessive feedback!!
* The Oblivians, “Viet Nam War Blues” (Soul Food CD, 1995)
One of the best songs from one of the best albums from one of the best bands ever. I don’t think I know any Lightnin’ Hopkins fans these days, but I’m sure our friendship would end immediately if they ever heard this monumentally raunchy trashing of the Texas songster’s Tet Offensive-era protest tune. So the next time you hear some Claptonesque poser and want to kill that smooth blues hero of the soccer mom set, don’t fret because the Oblivians have provided 2:37 worth of rock ‘n’ roll napalm for your one-man air war. Sometimes you have to torch a village to save it, etc. Boom!!!
Over drinks one night, this otherwise-sensible Buffalonian I know once tried to explain away an embarrassing case of Clapton-worship by suggesting that the only reason I didn’t like the guy was because “you only like traditional blues, R-Lo.” Although that prevent defense of a comment was as easy to score on as playing a game of doubles handball off Vince Vaughn’s enormodome of a forehead, I hereby submit three additional pieces of evidence to prove that Buffalo wings-breath was wrong. Take it away, Maestro!
* T-Model Ford, “Chicken Head Man” (She Ain’t None of Your’n CD, 2000)
T-Model was certainly old, black and from Mississippi when he recorded this paragon of praise to the lowly chicken McNugget, but other than those three stereotypes not even an overly-reverential NPR dj could ever point to anything here that could even faintly be regarded as “traditional.” I actually have absolutely no idea what the guy’s singing about at any point in time on this, but hearing T-Model and his drummer beat this one-chord riff into the ground crackhead-style is way more mesmerizing than mere words can do justice to. Note to racial profilers: makes Eric Clapton sound like a bearded white guy!
* The Gun Club, “Preaching the Blues” (Fire of Love LP, 1981)
The White Stripes used to cover another Gun Club tune off this very same album, but don’t let those overrated Zeppelin-lovers’ one moment of accidental good taste get in the way of your enjoyment of this. A high-octane rewrite of the Robert Johnson song of the same name, this way non-trad slice of slide guitar mayhem pretty much feels up the blues in the same way the Cramps used to fuck up rockabilly. “Fun with trivia” department: Band reportedly once set their monitors on fire at a show through deliberate use of excessive feedback!!
* The Oblivians, “Viet Nam War Blues” (Soul Food CD, 1995)
One of the best songs from one of the best albums from one of the best bands ever. I don’t think I know any Lightnin’ Hopkins fans these days, but I’m sure our friendship would end immediately if they ever heard this monumentally raunchy trashing of the Texas songster’s Tet Offensive-era protest tune. So the next time you hear some Claptonesque poser and want to kill that smooth blues hero of the soccer mom set, don’t fret because the Oblivians have provided 2:37 worth of rock ‘n’ roll napalm for your one-man air war. Sometimes you have to torch a village to save it, etc. Boom!!!
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